we're blogging at a bar
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
