My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
only if we run a train.
done.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
