We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
