OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
