I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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