Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Never joke about your clitoris.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
