we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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