Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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