come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
