I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
