I wish I could punch you in the face.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize