2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
