so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
