i may or may not be watching the land before time
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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