we're blogging at a bar
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
