what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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