I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
