I'm really into asian looking animals
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize