Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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