People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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