I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
