Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
