well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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