HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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