do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
