Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Ketchup is God's man juice
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
