i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
