The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she told me i tasted like america
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
