I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize