It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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