Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
