Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
