So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize