I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
3 2 1 whiskey
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
