some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
it hurts more in the daytime
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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