On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
