i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize