Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
