Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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