Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
