Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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