member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize