i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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