drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
