You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
