just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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