just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You're a waste of cheezeits
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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