My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
