it hurts more in the daytime
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
