He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
