i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
