I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
