I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
