pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
