People in love make me want to vomit
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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