Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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