Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
