I wish life had little blips of pornography
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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