why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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