you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
