Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
