Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
