margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
