My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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