East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
