I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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