Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
