8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
