I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Randomize
